I listened to a song by Don Clarke mainly out of curiosity. A long time Kristofferson fan, the title reminded me of Blame it on the Stones. After grabbing the headset, I pressed PLAY. Catchy title/catchy tune, all good. I wanted to know more so headed over to his channel.

Flipping through YouTube, something caught my eye –  the Disclaimer underneath his video. Reading it made me smile – But in a sad sort of way.

An old friend once told me that people bond & grow attached to each other for many reasons. One of the biggest reasons is what he called “shared reality“.

He explained (as only Ben could) that this “shared reality” simply meant  “shared truth” or “agreement”. A fact is only a fact because one or more individuals agree that it is real or true. We develop a level of liking for people when we discover that one or some of their views, ideas or opinions mirrors our own.

It’s easy to like people who we relate to & feel the same as. Developing a level of liking for the “others” –  people who do not share our values, ways & ideas – is far trickier. We have to resort to talking & listening to them. Chances are, there will be something about that person that we can like, respect or find amusing. That one precious thing is all it takes for liking or affinity to grow, & suddenly they seem more like us.

Communication is the key but only when it is honest, from the heart & unfiltered. Forgive the cliché, but it does seem to be getting harder to talk to each other – Harder by the moment.

In this world gone mad, people (other than Thys) seem to filter what they say. Actually, Howard & Paul are non-filterers too, & I like them just fine. In fact, most people I enjoy could be described as straight talkers. They could also be described much differently by other people who don’t hear them. I feel safe around people who speak their mind because I do not have to interpret what they tell me. There are not too many of them about.

Most of us are extremely careful about what we say & how we say it, most of the time. Consider how many times you have edited something on a text or read & re-read a post.

I am not suggesting that we should all forget our manners & start chucking rocks at each other. I do believe that communicating is a lot more complicated than it should be. It wasn’t always like this. There was a time when a simple apology could totally erase an impulsive or misunderstood comment. Now, we hear daily that someone is being ostracised for saying, doing or phrasing something incorrectly.

Communication exists to bounce ideas as well as to share them. Who wasn’t taught that people learn less with their mouths open than with their ears open? If people cannot express their emotions, passions, thoughts, anger, confusion & fleeting gripes & grumbles as & when they pop up, then how are we ever going to understand each other?

If we cannot express freely then we have little chance of finding something to like in other people.

Globalisation is bringing THEM ever closer to us. The world is getting smaller. If we hope to move from tolerating to liking & respecting others then we must free up our communication. That wall we knocked down means plenty less if we allow it to be replaced it with a myriad of fences. More so when those fences are tongues tied with barbed wire & tolerance is deemed desirable. Can anybody seriously aspire to be tolerated?

Back to the Don Clarke ditty. The disclaimer beneath his posted video reads –

If you want to read the rest, you can visit his channel yourself. He is a talented songwriter & musician so subscribe while you are there.

Here’s the tune. As Don Clarke felt the need to say: